“This is great! He just got his first lip!” –Newman, p112
As I began to read this chapter and got into the learning gender section, I noticed how different my opinion on the matter is compared to many others. I am the eldest of four children and both my sister and I were raised to be ‘lady like.’ Until I began college, this was something that I never gave a second thought. Now that I have studied a little more about feminists, I realize that I am different than many girls in that I really being ‘girly.’ I enjoy having the door help open for me and the fact that I am not responsible to move the furniture or big boxes. This is not to say that I expect these things to happen, but can be nice. Recently at work, however, I have been frustrated about things “I cannot do” because I am a girl. I can’t pick up hot tray, I can’t work the line, I can’t bring the wine cases downstairs or the ice bins up. I have recently felt like I am there to be the ‘pretty face’ people see, not the one who cooks the food. I find myself guilty of bringing this onto myself though. When my two younger brothers were being brought up, I remember always clapping when one of them fell. “Good fall, buddy. You’re alright. Get up quick!” or “Great! His first fat lip!” -112 Whereas when my sister fell I found myself coddling her and holding her until she stopped fussing. I never thought much about the difference until reading this chapter. It opened my eyes to realize that I have incredibly conflicting standards. I want to be treated delicately, but I also want to be capable of doing things myself when I want to.
This really leaves me struggling with what is right and wrong about raising children. I will want my daughter to be self sufficient and tough, and I would like my son to be kind, gentle and nurturing. It seems silly, though, to keep dolls form my little girl and guns from my boy. Children should be, within limits, allowed to play with what they choose, not what I choose for them, because they need to define their own character. Even if that means my girl is a tomboy and my boy turns out a bit more gentle than other boys, I feel that it’s important to let them choose their own roles. I can’t say that I will not tell my son to “tough it up” or tell my daughter to “let it all out” because that is what’s instinctive for me.
I feel that Newman could have brought in examples from adults brought up in a gender neutral environment. I would be curious to hear their view of the situation. Did they suffer consequences or receive any positive outcomes from being raised in the environment?
1 comment:
Kristyn, i know exactly what you mean it's nice to have people take care of those little things that we don't want to do, like pick up the heavy boxes, but at the same time it's frustrating to think that if we want to do some things for our own pleasure or benifit we might not be able to because we're females. and as furstrating as it is i dont think there is anyway around it unless we totally except that we're going to be treated more delicatley then men. out society is so set in its ways that things will probably never change. but i totally understand where you're coming from.
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